Quotes are amazing things. I love quotes. They provide you with a gist of what a book or article is about without having to actually read the whole thing. They provide comfort in times of sorrow, explanation where none other is to be found, solace in the midst of loneliness and just the right amount of disturbance whenever the situation calls for it. You can look up a quote for just about anything and any occasion, to help you through a hard time or to remind you just how far God has brought you in life.

QuOtEs!

Today is Valentine's Day, a day of love and affection for many. But I think it's also a day of sorrow, longing and deep reflection for perhaps even more...whether you've lost someone to death or to life (whoa). If you already know that you're going to be struggling with difficult feelings today, it's likely that this day used to mean something to you that it no longer can. So today, in the midst of all the unwarranted lovey-dovey-ness you're bound to encounter- whether at work, on social media, at the grocery store (a dozen roses for only $15!), or on TV when you're trying to relax at home after the day is over, please be sure to find some time for yourself.

Because you're not alone.

Make today a day that you place the focus on yourself. Practice some self love, whether that be taking a bubble bath, snuggling up with a blanket and a warm cup of tea, or listening to your favorite song over and over. Give your pet some extra love today. Buy yourself dinner (and maybe that dozen roses for only $15). Open your Bible and melt into the peace and true love that only God can provide.

And maybe read a couple of these quotes to help get your started.

Here are just 8 quotes that have resonated with me in one way or another throughout my life thus far. I hope they bless you as you read them, too, from your own perspective and in your own way. Links are included where I could find them so that you can read/listen to the sources too, if you want. We all understand words differently and take our own messages away from what we read or hear (especially on days like today), so with that in mind, let's begin.

-Aubrey

The recent tragic deaths of basketball star Kobe Bryant, his young daughter and seven others on board a helicopter that crashed has sent the world reeling. As funeral plans are being put into place for all those who died, today we're going to talk about celebrity deaths and how they affect us, even though we may never have met the person.

THE SHOCK FACTOR
 
Kobe Bryant, his young daughter Gianna, and seven others were killed when the helicopter they were riding in crashed into the side of a hill in Calabasas, California on January 26th. This news, when first reported, shocked old and young the whole world over. When I first heard about the crash, my first thought was actually "Fake news!" In retrospect, there was a bit of denial going on there, because I'd actually read the headline on a reputable news site.

Did you have a similar response when you learned the news? Whenever you receive unbelievable news like this, you may feel what seems like a "shock" go through your body. I know I do whenever I get news of a celebrity death, or anyone's death for that matter. The hair on the back of your neck may stand up, and if it's someone famous who's died, you will probably reach for your phone or the remote to get the very latest information. You'll want to share what you've just found out with others, so you'll probably call or text your family and friends to break the news. This way, in a sense, you'll be able to grieve together.

Case in point with Kobe Bryant's death. People my age grew up watching Kobe, seeing and hearing about his amazing feats on the basketball court. He's right up there in legendary status with Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, and Shaquille O'Neal. People older than me who enjoy watching basketball most certainly recognized his talents on the court right away, and enjoyed watching him help take the Lakers to several NBA championships throughout his 20-year career with them. So naturally we're all feeling a sense of loss now that he's gone. To make our grief-work that much more intense, besides knowing how he died, we've got to process the fact that his child perished with him, and that he leaves behind a grieving widow and three other kids.

The same kind of shock was felt in 1977 when Elvis Presley died...fans were crying in the streets. And in 1997 when Princess Diana died. And in 2009 when Michael Jackson died. And in 2014 when Robin Williams died. The list goes on.

At first, you may feel silly for being sad over the death of someone you didn't even know. But really, it's more like they didn't know you. You knew them very well, even if just from film, pictures, or music. (There's definitely psychology behind this phenomenon, and you can read about it here.)
 
For instance, maybe this particular celebrity was your role model, and it was on your bucket list to get to meet them in person one day. That dream has now been taken away. Or maybe you did get to meet them once, and you’ve always felt that the two of you somehow clicked. Even if you’ve never met this person, you’ve claimed them as your favorite…you’ve watched them on TV or in movies, sang along with them to your favorite songs, and celebrated with them when they got married or welcomed new life into the world.

Or maybe you had a loved one who passed away a while ago, and it was they who were this celebrity's biggest fan. So now you're feeling remorse for them, since they can't themselves. Or maybe this particular famous person provided you with a sense of comfort when you were going through something difficult; maybe a certain interview they gave encouraged you in some way, or a certain song they sang made you feel like everything was going to be alright.

And besides personal emotions like these, there's the objective side of it all, too. Next to perhaps any charitable works they had going on, this person who's died is never going to do anything new again. Sure, we'll have videos and interviews and books and the like to remember them by. The world will have their legacy. But there will never be another novice, creative anything initiated by them, ever again. That kind of loss is a loss to humanity, and it's completely normal to be sad about it.

Finding Closure

When someone you personally knew and loved passes away, you may find closure by attending the funeral and saying your goodbyes. Likewise, if a celebrity death is affecting you more than you thought it would, honoring them in a similar way could help you process this new reality. For example, if there's going to be a public memorial service for this person, consider attending it if you can, or even watching it on TV from the comfort of your own home. (For the record, there will be a public memorial for Kobe Bryant and the eight others who died with him at Staples Center, Los Angeles on Monday, February 24th.)

Studies have shown that attending a funeral or memorial service, or even just watching it online or on TV, does actually bring us a sense of closure about what has just happened, especially if the death or deaths were traumatic. It also helps to kick-start the grieving process, which has a time table all its own and varies from person to person.

So if you've been grieving over the loss of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and everyone else who was lost on board that helicopter, don't feel like you shouldn't...I'm sad about it, too. Instead, do yourself a favor and tune into the memorial. Or sign an online memorial book for him like this one. Go outside with some friends and play a game of bball in his memory. Any one of these rituals will help you say goodbye and move on with your life.

Grief felt over the death of a celebrity can be complex, and really goes deeper than I could ever talk about in a blog post. So here are a few articles that do a little more than just skim the surface:

www.rd.com/culture/why-we-get-sad-over-celebrity-deaths/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bouncing-back/201601/3-reasons-we-mourn-celebrity-deaths

https://www.centerforloss.com/2017/01/grieving-death-celebrity/

Important note: Whenever a celebrity or anyone else you loved dies, it's important to stay mindful about how the situation is affecting you. If you find yourself thinking a little too much about the person, researching their life or death a little too much, or becoming a little bit obsessed over them (to the point that it's interrupting your day-to-day life), it may be time to reach out for some professional help in dealing with these feelings. There is absolutely no shame in doing so. If you don't want to go anywhere, or simply don't want anyone else to know that you're seeking this help, an online counseling service like TalkSpace may be of interest to you.

In closing, we'd like to know: What celebrity death has shocked you the most? How did you deal with the loss you felt as a result of it? Share your response in a comment below.

-Aubrey

Good morning everyone. My name is Samantha Briggs. Most of you here know me on a personal level, but if not, I am George’s daughter.
 
My dad, George Filman, was born on April 5th, 1935 to John and Martha Filman, my grandparents. He was a loving father to my brother Jesse and I, a doting grandfather to my children Max, Jill, and John, and a caring friend. Most importantly, my dad was a friend of God.
 
Dad grew up in Texas and spent a majority of his life in the western part of the state. At the young age of sixteen, he met and fell in love with a beautiful young lady named Mary. After only three weeks of dating, George and Mary decided to get married. Even back then, their relationship was criticized because they were so young. But, like most young people in love, they didn’t care what anyone else thought, and myself and my brother Jesse are living proof of that…! My mom and dad’s love story was truly one for the ages, and even though everyone said they wouldn’t last, they were blessed to share a happy, loving marriage that spanned 60 years. It brings me peace now to think that Dad is back with Mom, together again at last. No more pain, no more sadness and heartache, no more death.
 
Dad left high school to marry our mother, and served our country for four years in the United States Army. He was very proud to serve, and also very proud of his wife and the family they had created together. After getting out of the military, Dad was a railroad man for the rest of his life, and enjoyed a long and distinguished career of which Jesse and I heard many a magical story while growing up.
 
Over the past several days, I have been so blessed to hear so many of your stories about my dad. He had a love for his home state of Texas, but anyone who knew George Filman knew that the southwest held a special place in his heart as well. He loved to pack up his things and take a trip there whenever he got the chance. While he enjoyed traveling, if you knew my dad, you also knew that he was a very private man. He loved to take care of his family, but as someone who was quite introverted by nature, he also enjoyed solitude. He was not a church goer, and was never really one for organized religion. But he was very spiritual. He tended to his relationship with God on a daily basis and remained a devout follower of the Lord to his dying day.
 
While he did relish his alone time, there was nothing Dad loved more than to sit down with family and friends over a delicious plate of fried catfish. When you were with him, he was willing to talk about anything that was on your mind, and would listen intently and carefully to you without any judgement at all. That is a precious and rare thing to find in a friend these days. But that is exactly the type of man that he was. Dad was an avid reader of the Bible, and loved discussing the Word of God with anyone who would partake with him. Anyone who knew Dad knew too that he loved to fish. It was one of his favorite things to do in his alone time. And of course he cherished his old country tunes and gospel songs.
 
This past week has been a very trying time for my family, and I want to extend a very heartfelt thank you to everyone who has reached out to us. The messages, phone calls, and support we have received have all been noted, and it is all greatly appreciated. I want to thank Grace Baptist Church for taking care of us today as well as for all the love and support everyone here has shown us as we all prepare to say goodbye to Dad. It is the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye, but there is also great joy in knowing that it’s really only goodbye for now. Just for a little while. And just like Dad is now with Mom again, so we will see them both again one day very soon.
 
Thank you.

My name is Lance Lawrence. I know most of you here today, but for those who don’t know who I am, I’m Denison’s brother. Today we have all gathered together to celebrate in loving memory my brother and the life he led. I’m sure everyone here has a story they could share about time spent with Denison… and boy, do I have a few stories that I could tell.
 
Denison Lawrence was born August 11th, 1973 to Charles and Cecelia Lawrence. Mom and Dad raised Denison, Laura, and myself in Paris, Texas, where as a family we cultivated many wonderful memories together. One of the best memories I have with my brother is us fishing together with Dad during the summers growing up. Dad took us out to fish at least a couple times every summer. Denison was the baby in the family, and when Dad passed away, Denison made it a point to check in on Mom as often as he could.
 
Perhaps stemming from our childhood was my brother’s love for the great outdoors, which he nurtured well into adulthood. He loved to be outside, whether it was to go fishing, hiking, or camping. My brother, as many of you here today know, was also an avid musician. Hand him a guitar and he would show you his knack for it. He enjoyed occasional jam sessions and open-mic nights around town, sharing his love for music with anyone who would listen.
 
You’ve all heard that Dire Straits song, “Money For Nothing,” right? I’d like to paint Denison’s life to the likeness of that song. He loved anything by Dire Straits but that song was one of his favorites. Some of the lyrics to that song go something like, “Now that ain't workin, that's the way you do it, Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb, Maybe get a blister on your little finger, Maybe get a blister on your thumb.” That was Denison for you. He was a content man who was very content with the life he led; he was satisfied with the work he did and was very proud of the fact that he did not get up in the morning for anyone but himself.
 
Denison called Dallas home for most of his adult life. He held a few different jobs, graduated from the University of New Mexico with a Bachelors of Business Administration, and after college he worked in management for awhile. But most of you here who knew Denison knew that he had started his own real estate rental company. If you knew him well, you knew that he was very proud of this company and worked on it til the day he left us. My brother had a true entrepreneurial spirit and was involved in a small investors’ group that worked to assist other business men and women in starting up their own companies.
 
Denison had a few different nicknames, some of which you may recognize: Dennies, Dougy, Diggy. A couple others may come to mind…maybe some of you here today had a special nickname for Denison that no one else knew about…! My brother enjoyed a bit of humor from time to time, and growing up he was encouraged to see the funny side of life. A prime example is a story from when he was in the first grade. His teacher had asked the class to name off some animals that started with a letter she would give. So she said “H” and she heard back, “Horse!” She said “T” and she got back “Two horses!” She called out “M” and Denison decides to be the class clown and yells back, “Maybe a horse!?” He got into just a little bit of trouble that night at home.
 
My brother was a quiet man who led a relatively quiet life, and that was how he wanted things. He was not a very religious man, but he believed in God and made it a point in his life to help his fellow man whenever he could. He was easy-going and loved to go out and meet new people, but he also loved just being at home, alone, recharging after a long day. Denison was fun-loving but a gentle person at the same time. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and would go out of his way to avoid hurting anyone in any way.
 
He had a close relationship with our cousin, Sam Smith. Smithy and Denison spent some bachelor years together just hanging out, playing music, going hiking and camping together. We want to thank you for that, Smithy…Denison had so many wonderful times with you and the kids, and I think that brought him a lot of joy these past several years.
 
I want to thank not only my cousin Sam, but also each and every one of you that showed up today to honor Denison’s life and memory. Everyone here had a special kinship, bond or memory with my brother in some way, and I want you to know that he did with each of you as well. I hope that knowing that can bring you a little bit of comfort as we lay him to rest. On behalf of my mother and sister Laura, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all the condolences, kind messages and company you have provided us these past several days. It will always be remembered. I would also like to thank the local church here, Sam’s church, for helping my family in the many ways that they have. Denison was not a member of the church, in fact they didn’t even know him. They did not have any real reason to step up like they did, except out of true compassion. That compassion has touched my family and we are especially grateful for it.
 
In closing, I’d just like to say…and I think we can all agree with this… that the world was better off for my brother Denison Lawrence being in it, and not worse.
 
Thank you.

In the book of John, Chapter 13, verse 7, Jesus is washing the feet of his disciples, showing an act of total servitude in doing so. He washes the feet of each of them until he gets to Simon Peter, who asks him, quite astonished, “Why are you washing my feet?” And Jesus simply answers him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”
 
Today we are here to remember and honor the life my beloved husband, Marcob John Lumpsy. As a Christian, Marcob lived his life in service to others. He strove in all he did to emulate the Lord as in John 13:7. He spoke to God every single morning before he began his day, as well as every night before he went to sleep. Marcob took great joy in helping out anyone who needed him. If he had only two dollars in his pocket, and you were a friend or a stranger in need, Marcob would give it to you.
 
Marcob was born on June 2nd, 1990 to Jacob and Clair Lumpsy. He grew up in Seattle, where as a young man he developed a great love for the outdoors, especially for camping and fishing. He had many wonderful memories with his mom, of time spent outdoors with his dad, and growing up with Sarah, John, and Kyle. He had a particular fondness for fishing, which gave him a calming reprieve, whenever he needed it, from the chaos of everyday life and work. And we can’t forget all the wonderful memories he had with Steve Marshall! For those of you who don’t know, Marcob and Steve were best friends since childhood, through all the growing up and all the moves and long distances. Steve, I want you to know if you don’t already, that Marcob counted you as his brother as well.
 
Even though Marcob was a Seattle kid at heart, New York also held a special place in his heart, as many of you know. And of course, our beloved farm house in Berea, Kentucky.
 
Six years ago, I met this wonderful man. We were just two silly kids without a care in the world and we fell in love pretty quickly. It has been a beautiful 4 years of marriage, and although 4 years is all too short and I cannot yet comprehend the shock and utter sadness I am feeling, I count myself extraordinarily blessed to have had the time with Marcob that I did.
 
More than anyone, more than anything, more than his own life, Marcob loved his little boys. Victor and Dillian were the absolute joy of Marcob’s life, the apples of his eye. He would do anything for his children. You all know that Marcob did interior remodeling for homes. He valued his clients and it was important to him that he met any deadlines he had, and to complete his work to the satisfaction of his customers. But he knew that his children were more important than anything, and would literally say “no” to a potential client if it would mean missing out on one of the boy’s baseball games or father-son camping trips.
 
As anyone who knew my husband would know, Marcob was a man of great personality. He was very outgoing and knew how to make a friend wherever he went, whether he was at work or enjoying life outside with Victor and Dillian. This friendliness and attitude of service to others he taught by example to our boys, and for that I am very grateful.
 
Marcob loved his family and friends, and making memories with his loved ones was important to him. He felt very lucky in his life and would often say (and maybe some of you here today actually heard him say this once or twice) that he had too much luck in life. Yes, you heard that right…he would go so far as to say that he had too much luck in his life, even when his luck was down. That is just the kind of person that Marcob Lumpsy was, and that was just how thankful he was for everything he had.
 
It still does not seem real. My husband was only 28 years old. I will always remember the day we met, like it was yesterday… the past six years have gone by too fast, but the day we met will always be one of my favorite memories. Marcob still had so much more to give to this world, so much more to teach to our boys, so many more memories to make with me, with his family and his friends…with each one of you. But Marcob is with the Lord now, and the words of Jesus from the book of John keep coming to mind: “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”
 
Maybe I have no right to question why the Lord took Marcob so soon, and in the way that He did. Why he took a loving father from his young children, from his wife, from his parents, from his friends. But I don’t have to understand it, as much as I would like to and as much as I want answers. I--all of us here today--can only have faith. We can only lean on God for divine comfort and guidance and hope for the future. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and one day we will understand why.
 
I want to thank you all for being here today, for joining myself, Victor, Dillian, Jacob, Clair, Sarah, John, and Kyle as we lay our husband, father, son, and brother to rest. These past few days have been beyond difficult, and on behalf of everyone I would like to say thank you to each and every one of you for the prayers, support, words of sympathy, company, and help that you have provided our family.
 
Thank you.

Elvis Presley was born January 8th, 1935 in a small house his father built in Tupelo, Mississippi. Elvis was a twin, but sadly his brother Jesse was stillborn. His parents, Vernon and Gladys, were completely devoted to their only child, and he was very close to them throughout childhood and beyond. He was especially close to his mother, who was very protective of him even into adulthood.

,In school, Elvis received mostly average grades and didn't excel in music class. He discovered his love of music at the church where his family attended, and when he received his first guitar as a birthday present, the naturally-shy boy started to enjoy playing and singing for others. When he graduated from high school in 1953, he was already convinced that music was his calling, and so later that summer introduced himself at Sun Records recording studio in Memphis. This was a move that would prove to launch his career.

Elvis's big break was perhaps his debut performance on "Louisiana Hayride", which was at the time the Grand Ole Opry's competitor. It was the fall of 1954 and Elvis rode the Hayride into interstate success. In 1955, with the help of his new manager, "Colonel" Tom Parker, 20-year-old Elvis Presley was signed to RCA Victor.

1956 was the year Elvis Presley became a household name. RCA promoted their newest star to no ends. With hit after hit, including "Heartbreak Hotel," "Blue Suede Shoes" and "Hound Dog," there was no stopping his rise to fame.

It didn't take long for Elvis' signature "gyrating" performances to cause some controversy, as it would throw his audience (mostly love-sick teenage girls) into hysterics. For a while he was unwelcome on several TV entertainment shows, and was even labeled as "unfit for family viewing" by none other than Ed Sullivan. Elvis, of course, couldn't have disagreed more, and kept doing his thing.

Transcending the music scene while still releasing hits under RCA, Elvis went on to star in major movie roles in the '50s, including Love Me Tender and Jailhouse Rock. In 1957, he bought his iconic Memphis mansion, Graceland, and asked his beloved parents to live there with him.

Not long after her son joined the Army in 1958, Elvis's mother Gladys fell ill with hepatitis. She passed away two days after he was granted leave to be with her, and he was shattered. Perhaps what brought him consolation was the sparks he experienced upon meeting a young fan, Priscilla Beaulieu, while subsequently stationed in Germany.

After dating for over seven years (Priscilla being ten years his junior), she and Elvis were married in Las Vegas on May 1, 1967. Their daughter, Lisa Marie, was born exactly nine months later. During this time, Elvis's career began to suffer as the songs he released under RCA began to be described as lackluster. Now a new husband and father, he thought the better part of his career was over.

But that wasn't the case. In 1968, NBC aired "The '68 Comeback Special" to national acclaim, launching Elvis Presley back into the spotlight.

By 1972, the Presley's marriage was on the rocks. Both Elvis and Priscilla were unfaithful and hardly even lived together anymore. In 1973, they were divorced.

Over the next several years, Elvis turned more and more to drugs to get him through his performances. He became a shadow of his former self, falling so much out of shape that that even his vocals began to suffer. On August 16th, 1977, he was found unresponsive, taken to the hospital and declared dead.

Elvis had a public viewing at Graceland on August 17th, which countless mourners, many of them openly weeping, attended. The next day his funeral was held at Graceland, and his body subsequently transported to its original burial site at Forest Hill Cemetery in Memphis. When his grave and the grave of his mother were disturbed some months later, both were moved to the grounds of Graceland, where they remain to this day.

Elvis Presley's life was one of fame, fortune, and deep intrigue...and his death of mystery and even controversy. If you'd like to learn more about the "King of Rock 'n' Roll," his life and death, here are a few links that may interest you:

https://www.graceland.com/mansion

www.biography.com/musician/elvis-presley

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/a26721749/elvis-presley-death-true-story/

I hope you enjoyed the reading! Stay tuned for more of our "Famous Graves" series in the near future.

-Aubrey

In last week's blog, Eulogies by Aubrey featured four uplifting songs to help those who are grieving during the holiday season. This week, we'll be sharing 10 more beautiful songs with that same goal in mind. Most of the tracks featured include lyrics, and all of them are soothing to the soul.

We've picked each of these songs with a) the joy of the Christmas season in mind, and b) with the goal of providing you a little bit of comfort as you continue your grief journey throughout the hustle and bustle of the season. In no particular order, here the songs (see below for audio/video):

1. What Child Is This by Lindsey Stirling
2. O Holy Night by Celine Dion
3. The Lord's Prayer by Andrea Bocelli
4. Thankful by Josh Groban
5. Here With Us by Joy Williams
6. The Scar by Blue October
7. Christmas Canon by Trans Siberian Orchestra
8. One Silent Night by Jaci Velasquez
9. Away In a Manger by Pentatonix
10. The Water Is Wide by Niamh Parsons

Thank you for listening. We would LOVE to know your favorite Christmas songs, or songs that bring you comfort in general. Please share them with us in a comment below.

If you liked what you heard above and would like to discover more beautiful tunes, my friends over at US Urns Online have compiled a master selection of sympathy songs right here for your listening pleasure.

-Aubrey

Thanksgiving is officially over and the rush of the holiday season is upon us. As many of us scramble to get all of our Christmas shopping done, plan for parties and other festivities, and celebrate the joy of the season, there are some who are unable to experience that joy.
 
Someone you know may be experiencing a deep loss this holiday season. Or maybe that someone is you. Maybe this will be the first Christmas without your loved one by your side, and you’re not quite sure how to keep your spirits up.
 
Because in the midst of all the hustle and bustle going on around you, you are wondering deep down inside, “How can the world just keep revolving like this?”

In response, today we’d like to offer you some encouragement, in the form of Scripture and uplifting songs, to help you get through this holiday season…and it’s perfectly okay if this year, all you manage to do is get through it.

The Bible is filled with words of comfort, just for you, as you process your loss this holiday season. Here are just a few verses that we pray will bless you as you read them:

It is God Who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.  Psalm 18:32

The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.  Psalm 28:7

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; do not forsake the works of Your hands.  Psalm 138:8

But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

Music can speak where words can't.

For additional encouragement, check out Eulogies by Aubrey's Pinterest board, When the Holidays Are Hard. There you'll find inspirational images, quotes, Bible verses, and more to further support you throughout your walk with grief. Feel free to check out all my other boards while you're there, and if you're on Pinterest, give us a follow to keep up with the latest in funeral service and grief work in general.

-Aubrey

Thanksgiving is once again just around the corner, bringing with it all the pomp and circumstance of the holiday season. This time of year, everywhere you look, you’re reminded to be thankful for everything you have… Facebook friends sharing their “30 days of thankfulness.” Your pastor reminding you of the Reason for the season. Even just driving around your town and taking notice of those who are less fortunate than you can really cause you to take pause in a moment of sincere gratitude.
 
No one is arguing that this isn’t a wonderful reminder, of course. It’s a great thing to take a step back and examine all the good stuff going on in your life, at least every once in a while… caring family and friends, a secure job, a loving church family, or even just the fact that you have a roof over your head and food on the table. Being thankful has actually been scientifically proven to boost levels of happiness: https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier

But when you are grieving the loss of someone who’s recently passed (or maybe it wasn’t so recent), this annual reminder to give thanks for all you have can seem almost like an insult. Who is anyone to compel you into such feelings of thankfulness when you are in the midst of grieving? How can you even try to fathom this feeling of thankfulness when you are wrapped in feelings of sorrow and despair?
 
The more I think about it, the more I think that the reason it seems so impossible to do, is because grief is quite the opposite of thanksgiving.
 
No, I’m not saying that if you’re grieving it means you aren’t thankful. I’m saying that maybe it’s very difficult to be thankful for what you have now, when you are focused so much on what you no longer have (the person who’s passed away). I’m saying that maybe, just maybe, practicing thankfulness for what was, instead of what is (that is, the loss you are currently feeling), can help your mind turn its focus from the good that has been taken away from you, and refocus onto the fact that you once had that good. All the good times - all the good memories - you had with this person who was (and will always be) so very much loved. Does this make sense?

If you’re bereaved and struggling to find an attitude of gratitude this Thanksgiving, you are not alone. Don’t try to fight your feelings, just accept them and accept yourself for feeling them. After all, you wouldn’t be grieving if you’d never loved the person who has passed, and if they’d never loved you in return… as C.S. Lewis once said, “The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That’s the deal.”
 
So if all you can be thankful for this Thanksgiving is the memories, be thankful for that. Don’t try to fight your grief. It’s real, it’s the consequence of love, and you are allowed to take as much time as you need to sort through it.
 
-Aubrey

When you’re grieving the loss of a loved one who has just passed away, they and the impact they had on your life are all you can think about. All the precious memories, happy times, not-so-happy times, and everything else comes flooding back out of your memory bank and into your heart, leaving you little else room to think and sometimes even breath. When you’re tasked with giving the eulogy at their funeral, on top of that, life can be a little complicated for a few days… Now you’ve got to somehow take all those memories, climb up out of your personal emotions surrounding them, and write something coherent enough that can be understood and cherished by all those who will be attending the funeral.

Needless to say, it can be a daunting job. But as with so much else hard (but worth doing) in life, all you have to do is start.

You see, as you begin get your thoughts together on paper, one by one, the stories and memories you really want to share begin to paint the picture of the relationship you had with your loved one. You begin to really think about the flow of your speech, because you’ll want it to sound consistent and articulate to your listeners.
 
When you’re writing, sometimes it can really help to see an example. Eulogies by Aubrey has three right here on our website for you to look over and consider.

If you find that you’re really struggling with your thoughts and feel that you could use some extra guidance, check out our free eulogy template right here. It’s a great tool to have if you’re having trouble getting your thoughts in the right order, because it provides you with a structure for your eulogy while still allowing for complete personalization. If you need help filling it out or have any other questions or concerns, just send us a message here and we will be happy to assist you.
 
And of course Eulogies by Aubrey is always on standby ready to write your eulogy for you, should you decide that you would benefit most from our professional service. We have created a simple question-and-answer platform in which you can quickly and easily provide the information needed for us to create a 100% custom eulogy written in you own voice and style. We are honored to be of service.
 
-Aubrey