“If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.” -Claudia Adrienne Grandi
Think about the last time you went to a funeral or memorial service. The first thing you may have noticed when you walked through the doors of the church or parlor was the abundance of floral arrangements. Lilies, roses, orchids, and gladiolus are only a few of the most popular, and most fragrant, blooms to be sent in memory of the dearly departed. You’ll find these beautiful, colorful blossoms adorning every table, corner and boutonniere right up to the casket, urn or memory table. Sending flowers is such a popular practice even in modern funeral services, that funeral homes still have a special flower room just for receiving baskets and sprays. Often, when a death has just occurred, the undertaker who picks up the body will also leave a rose or carnation in the bed or with the next of kin as a token of respect. Why do we send flowers to funerals or the homes of a family or friend who has just lost a loved one? It may seem like a no-brainer…flowers are, after all, an age-old way to show that you are thinking of someone. They are bright and beautiful, and serve to remind us that life goes on even when we are surrounded by darkness and grief. They smell lovely, giving us a little lift in our spirits just when we need it the most. While it’s true that in times gone by fragrant blooms were used for more practical reasons, mainly to cover up the stench of decomposition, today that is simply not the case. Flowers are not needed for this purpose anymore, especially in cases of embalming, cremation, or even just refrigeration. These days they serve as symbols of reverence and comfort for the family. Of course, flowers are not only for funerals! They can be offered as a romantic gesture, as a birthday gift, in celebration of a birth, or even as a sign of friendship. What is your favorite flower? Let us know in a comment below! -Aubrey
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When someone we love very much dies (or when we have suffered a great loss or stress of any kind), our minds automatically search for a way to cope. Subconsciously or not, as a way to cope with the grief we are feeling, we may revert to some simple comforts of our childhoods. We may watch an old movie we haven’t seen in awhile, flip through some photo albums, or listen to a familiar song that has never failed to calm us down. We may take very long bubble baths or take very long naps. We may even sleep with an old stuffed animal for a few days, if that makes us feel better, and that is totally fine. That tattered old stuffed animal may very well be a Winnie-the-Pooh (wow, smooth bridge there!)
Originally debuted in 1924 by English author A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh is a lovable storybook teddy bear from almost all of our childhood memories. A creature of classic tale and also of timeless wit, Pooh has captured the imaginations of artists, writers, philosophers, and children alike the world over. Besides in kids’ picture books and TV series, he can be found in publications and media geared toward adults, including Benjamin Hoff’s The Tao of Pooh, John Tyerman Williams’ Pooh and the Philosophers, and most recently Disney’s live-action adaptation Christopher Robin. Children sense a natural kinship with the winsome bear, whose gentle humor and whimsical adventures through the Hundred Acre Wood easily capture their attentions. But Winnie-the-Pooh’s attitude of mindfulness is also one to be desired by grownups, who strive daily to catch a glimpse of his innocent, restful existence in our own often chaotic worlds. Grownups pray, we meditate, we cry, we sleep, but Pooh just is (his go-with-the-flow attitude is in contrast to that of his friend Eeyore, who possesses a more dysthymic melancholy but who is nonetheless accepted just as he is). Much like a child, Pooh is generally content with his life no matter if he feels happy or bothered; he is content in his everlasting state of doing nothing, which he finds joy in: “Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” -Pooh Doing Nothing sounds extremely attractive when one’s mind is under the weight of the heavy emotions of grief…when one’s heart is burdened by the memories of a loved one we’ll never see again, at least not for a very long time. For all his simplicity, even Pooh knows how that kind of sadness can feel. When Christopher Robin revealed that he would soon be leaving for the ever-elusive “school,” Pooh did not quite understand what or where exactly that was. He didn’t know what Christopher Robin would be doing all day there, all he knew was that Christopher would not be spending the days with him anymore. Even through his sadness, however, Pooh also knew “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” Winnie-the-Pooh quotes are often featured in eulogies, especially those for young children. If you are searching for the perfect Pooh quote, for a funeral service or just for your own reverie, here are a couple of sites that may be of interest to you: https://www.swanboroughfunerals.com.au/10-funeral-readings-from-winnie-the-pooh/ https://everydaypowerblog.com/winnie-the-pooh-quotes/ -Aubrey When I was in mortuary school, I had the opportunity to assist with a couple embalmings at a nearby university hospital, UT Southwestern. There is a “willed body” program there to which people may choose to donate their bodies after death. Led into the chilly prep room, I saw the two cadavers which had been laid out on twin embalming tables. As I donned my PPE and helped to get the supplies and solution ready, I silently thanked each of them, as I did everyone I had the honor of observing post-mortem. Before their deaths, these people had made a conscious decision to donate their bodies to this hospital, and they were counting as two of the many embalming cases I still needed to complete before I could graduate. But not only were they helping me, a mere spawn of the funeral home variety, they would be helping countless medical students and patients on the eternal quest to advance medicine. To facilitate life through their deaths.
Sometimes, you hear of people saying they would like to “donate their body to science” one day. Apart from choosing a natural burial, donating your body to science (anatomical bequest) may be the best option for those who are looking for a more environmentally-friendly final disposition. It is also cost-effective. Most donation programs will, following utilization, perform cremation for free or offer a stipend. The remains can then be returned to the family. Not only easy on the environment and the wallet, whole body donation is a selfless act considered by many to be the ultimate gift. One caveat of choosing to donate your body to science is that you do not usually get to choose how it is utilized. Generally, bequeathed bodies are used for educational purposes, and they are often embalmed (sometimes with help from students or apprentices). You may wish that your body be used to find a cure for some rare disease or cancer, but it’s more likely that it will be chosen as a practice palette for surgical med students. But no matter how your body is used, you can be sure that it will be a gift of monumental importance to the advancement of medicine and science as a whole. You are choosing to take a lasting part in something that could potentially save the life of someone else, while curbing harm to the earth at the same time. Another eco-friendly option there is to consider is whole body donation to a “body farm.” The picture that pops into your mind is probably close enough to the real thing! At a body farm, cadavers are arranged outside against varying elements of weather, air exposure, animal contact, etc. Scientists study the stages of decomposition in these bodies to learn more about the timing and properties of each stage. This information can be monumentally useful to crime scene investigators as well as to students of forensic anthropology. There is one such location in Texas, Freeman Ranch Body Farm at Texas State’s Forensic Anthropology Research Facility in San Marcos. If you or someone you love is considering whole body donation in Texas, this website is a great place to start for more information: https://www.donatelifetexas.org/learn-more/resources-links/whole-body-donation/ -Aubrey |
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