Elegy vs. Eulogy: Differences & How to Use Them Both

Losing a loved one is a very personal experience. Each individual goes through and processes the grief differently. Throughout the history of grief, we've found ways to remember those who have passed away through eulogies and elegies.

Two beautiful traditions that often come up in this context are elegies and eulogies.
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While their names might sound similar, they serve distinct purposes while offering unique ways to express grief and celebrate a life well-lived. Let's explore the unique roles of each and how you can use them!

Elegy vs. Eulogy – What Are They?

Elegy Definition: An elegy is a poem that expresses sorrow and reflection on the death of a loved one.

It's a heartfelt way for the writer to process their grief and share their personal memories of the deceased. Elegies often have a melancholic or reflective tone, allowing the writer to explore their emotions and the impact of the loss.
 
Think of famous works like Alfred Lord Tennyson's "In Memoriam A.H.H." or W.H. Auden's "Funeral Blues" – these are powerful examples of how elegies beautifully capture the depth of grief and love.

Eulogy Definition: A eulogy, on the other hand, is a spoken speech delivered at a funeral or memorial service.

Unlike an elegy, a eulogy focuses on celebrating the life of the deceased. It highlights their achievements, personality traits, and the positive impact they had on others. This is one of the most common form of speech at a funeral.
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Eulogies are a chance for friends, family, and loved ones to come together, share cherished memories, and express their gratitude for the life lived.

When to Use an Elegy

Regardless of it being kept in a journal or read aloud at a funeral, elegies are a great way to express your personal emotions and memories of the deceased.
Here are some ideal situations for an elegy:

• For private reflection: When you're grappling with grief and need a creative outlet to process your feelings, writing an elegy can be incredibly cathartic.
• To share with close family and friends: Elegies can be a beautiful way to share your unique perspective on the deceased with those who knew them well.
• As a contribution to a memorial service: If the format of the service allows for personal tributes, an elegy can be a touching addition.

The beauty of an elegy lies in its intimacy. It's a space for you to express your love, loss, and cherished memories in a heartfelt and creative way.
 
This 1865 poem by Walt Whitman is a great example of an elegy. It was written to express grief after the loss of President Abraham Lincoln.

"Coffin that passes through lanes and streets, Through day and night with the great cloud darkening the land, With the pomp of the inloop’d flags with the cities draped in black, With the show of the States themselves as of crape-veil’d women standing, With processions long and winding and the flambeaus of the night, With the countless torches lit, with the silent sea of faces and the unbared heads, With the waiting depot, the arriving coffin, and the sombre faces, With dirges through the night, with the thousand voices rising strong and solemn, With all the mournful voices of the dirges pour’d around the coffin, The dim-lit churches and the shuddering organs—where amid these you journey, With the tolling tolling bells’ perpetual clang, Here, coffin that slowly passes, I give you my sprig of lilac.”

- Walt Whitman

When to Use a Eulogy

Eulogies are ideal for public speeches that celebrate the life of the beloved.
These are the most common moments for a eulogy:

• Funeral services: Eulogies are a cornerstone of traditional funerals, offering a platform to honor the deceased in front of a larger audience of loved ones and mourners.
• Memorial services: Similar to funerals, memorial services can also benefit from a eulogy that celebrates the life of the departed.
• Celebrations of life: These events, often held after the passing, are a chance to come together and share positive memories. A eulogy can be a central part of such a celebration.

Eulogies provide a structured and public space to acknowledge the deceased's accomplishments, positive qualities, and the impact they had on those around them. It's a chance to leave a lasting impression and inspire others who knew and loved them.

If you would like help writing a eulogy, Eulogies by Aubrey provides a professional eulogy speech service to ease the burden of writing a speech so you can focus on what is important.

For those with financial stresses, Aubrey also offers a free eulogy template.

If you have any questions, please email Aubrey or view her FAQ page. She looks forward to easing your burden.

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